DangerousFruit

You're not American. This explains why you underestimate the power of Oprah Winfrey. Just as a demonstration:

Wall St. closes at 4PM. Her show starts at that time. The market was closed already then when on one afternoon she very casually remarked, "Wow. I might not eat a hamburger ever again." during an episode about meat processing. By the time the market opened in the morning, beef futures were way down. By the time the market closed that day, the beef futures market had all but crashed. In fact, they thought she did it on purpose, and tried to sue her. The market remained depressed for the duration of the trial and beyond. This woman says whatever happens to pop into her head one afternoon and accidentally destroys an entire industry. Similarly, endorsement from Ms. Winfrey has launched many careers. She has never backed a political candidate before, and she's on Obama's side.

I don't think he'll be the democratic candidate for president. I think that will go to Ms. Clinton. But I think Hillary would have to be stupid not to have Oprah Winfrey championing her causes. And Hillary is not a stupid woman.

Super Tuessday here. I voted for Ms. Clinton. I did so cheerfully. I then ticked off everyone on the bar underneath her. Most of them I would have voted for anyway. A few others I never heard of, but I nevedr heard of their opponents either. So I just voted for Clinton, and the people in support of her.

I think she and Bill did a bang-up job last time, and I think they can do it again. They (historically) balanced the budget, put Social Security in what should (and would) have been lasting surplus, and I think they can do it again. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see Clinton/Obama '08 bumper stickers! I'd like Mr. Obama for vice president. I think he's awesome, I just think he's not ripe yet. Eight years from now, he'd be perfect after a stint as VP.

What kind of monkey is this? He looks like Sigmund Freud.

This baby monkey has ears as big as his face!

I think that group has a lot of nerve complaining about the postponement. It's one thing to complain about the outright cancellation after only one mishap, but to complain about a postponement when they never have to pay for the space is like biting the hand which feeds you.

I'm not entirely sure that the following truly counts as toilet disasters, but I wasn't sure they should go into the toilet rules thread either. So here you are:

Merry Christmas everyone!

I have very simple plans, and they have been my plans every year for nearly ten years now. My grandmother and I (and my aunt before she died) go to my aunt's best friend's house. The group is very small. The hosting couple, the husband's childhood friend, my grandmother's first friend from when she first bought the house in which I live, my grandmother, and I. We'll drink liquer, eat our bellies full, and laugh, and laugh about the state of the world. We might sing some Christmas songs, then we'll open gifts, hugs all around, and go on home content. It's nothing like my childhood memories, where my grandmother's housewas full to bursting with relatives and friends, and neighbors. We used to put up two Christmas trees, and the house smelledlike goodies for days. We'd run out of leftovers just in time to throw a New Year's party, and have leftovers from that. Good times. I swear I used to get two weeks off. Todays kids are gyped. Anyway, Christmas is very different now, as I was saying, but you know, it's still wonderful to me. I hope yours is beautiful, whoever you are.

Something really sweet happened to a friend of mine this morning. She writes:

Hey gang,

Ok, the Christmas spirit is true. I was in the post office today, the post office in Fleetwood, Mount Vernon, trying to mail out a gift to my friend in England. The post office clerk was a total jerk! He wasn't very helpful. I needed a box and some postage to send it on it's way. They only had a priority box that my package fit in and I asked if he could please send it regular, under the circumstances that the post office didn't have any other boxes. And he refused! Well the bill came short of what I had by 8 dollars. A wonderful woman named Karen had borrowed some tape from me that I also had to purchase from the clerk. And she insisted that she make up the difference. Now I said that there was no way she owed me $8 in tape, but she insisted. The clerk yelled at us, hurry up already, this is what you get for waiting till the last minute. And this kind young woman shouted back, we are working girls, we don't often have time to get to the post office. And she ran her debit card through for my remaining fee. I felt so blessed. I asked her name, she wouldn't give me her address. She said next Christmas when we are both in the post office and maybe you'll be here and I'll need you then. It broke my heart with happiness. Folks, that's what Christmas is all about. Giving and selflessness. That simple act just made me feel wonderful. So please pass on this email. Maybe someone knows Karen or knows someone who knows her. Or maybe someone just needs to hear my story to remember what Chrismas is all about. Hope and love and helping our fellow human beings.
Hugs and kisses to all.
Christina

What you may not have realized is Jackson's legal troubles has left him in financial ruin. Broke, and considering prostitution, he accepted an offer he could not refuse. He's a merc for the empire. No one ever suspects him until it;s way too late. I'm telling you. Be careful. Now that you've outed him, I'm sure you're on the list.

I would commit treason for a tropical Christmas. I have no idea how I fell in love with someone who is such a snow bunny. If I never see winter again it would be too soon. I completely forgot about Christmas decorations until I noticed my neighbor's wreath. I've been so busy. I just stopped and stared at it for at least a full minute in utter confusion. I'm just going to put up a small tree this year since I won't have time to put up or take down my 7 1/2 ft. artificial douglass fir. That tree's ornaments need to be replaced anyway. It has many, many ornaments, but they are all looking a bit tired and worn. I'm moving in August, and when I do, I'll just scrap those, and take the tree. New city, new life, new Christmas.

I remember back when Anthony was still updating the page about how people were finding CWAL on Google I wae surprised to find that he got hits from people searching for "animated care bear humping". Well, I found it live action (by mistake, I assure you). The following link is NOT work safe.

Blonde loves her Care Bear

Well, it's news to anyone who didn't know. It's certainly news to me.

It's my fault. I made a joke about Evelyn and Tara growing large enough to visit me in NYwhere I promised to defend them from muggers and panhandlers, and now it's on the vergeof coming true. Fear not, I shall think of a joke where you and Tara win a lottery jackpot to pay for clothing your enormous child.

Glad all's well so far.

Where'd they find those terrifying pupil-less eyes? *cowers*

Do it, and win!

I'm so very pleased to see that this visit to the boards here is so laden with goood news! Congratulations, Raven! *huggle*

Fabulous! I could not possibly be happier for the growing family (and the growing lady). Not long before Tara gets to be the size of the sun, her belly shall reach me here in NY. I promise to be gentle when I rub it. I'll also defend it from muggers and panhandlers. And mimes.

Al's basement sounds like a mystical place.

Haha! What happens to people who accumulate too many slips?

Just found this. I intended to say nose-whistling.

I don't know why, but I just love reading about toilet disasters. I was very eager when I saw the title of this thread, and pleased at the thought I'd possibly made a visit here just in time to catch a new one.


Welcome to the island, mink, and Pericola!


I'm going to re-read toilet disasters, and try not to have one where I sit.

Oh totally. I'm completely guilty of having wanted a pigmy marmoset, until I researched the idea a bit and discovered they were vicious little beasties. I got a cat like everyone else. Someday, when I'm more responsible, I'd like a small dog. All monkey-types are out though.

I was too lazy to search for the topic where this goes. Anthony, feel free to move it if you like.

This is mesmerizing. I watched over and over. You are getting sleepy...

MONKEY BIRD!!!

I love the look! I haven't had a moment to tool around and see how I like the functin, but whatever you do to the island paradise is great for me.

I laughed at the joke. Hard. But then I realized I didn't understand it. Honestly, I don't get it. Is it an Irish thing? Or is it just an awake and lucid thing?

I contend there is no such place as the real world. If you are thinking of moving someplace, just do it. If you hate it, move again.


Oh. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

The self-loving cop will NEVER get old! man, I LOVE tis picture.

I find it strange that here, in the most legitimately Irish place in my life, that no one began a St. Patrick's Day thread. Shame on you all. Who are you, anyway?


Anyway. HAPPY ST. PAT'S!

Don't you all go getting too drinky on me either.

And if you do, at least have the decency to revive the alcohol disasters threads:

Booze Disasters

and if it really gets crazy, revive this one too:

Toilet Disasters